Growing Pains

As we prepare to begin this next leg of our journey, I am reminded that, although inevitable, change is not easy. Prepare as you may, but it is still stressful and challenging. With this, also comes feelings of excitement, curiosity, fulfillment, joy, seperation anxiety and fear of the unknown path ahead. I’m learning though, that we must take the good with the bad.

For instance, earlier today my sister told me that my brother and dad had some negative things to say about our decision too leave Louisiana. Perhaps they are experiencing their own set of emotions. My father blamed “God” , whom it turns out suddenly does not exist but to whom he is grateful for making me a descent person. Likewise, my brother predicts failure because the only way “you can make it is if you have degrees and stuff”, which he knows I do have… Not to mention the job my husband has that is the reason we’re moving at all.

While disappointed, I realized a few things. Both my brother and my dad are spewing out nonsense as a way to express their disapproval of me leaving home… I’m guessing it’s because they love me 🙂 Oddly, that warms my heart.

Secondly, in them, I see the adversary at work with its confused, vain and fruitless thoughts and words implanted in the minds and mouths of my loved ones.

Lastly, I see fear and hurt, maybe even feelings of abandonment and I think that all these years we’ve been trying to leave Louisiana and failing, at least some of my family must have been happy or, at minimum, relieved to see us fail. I would never have imagined that.

Ultimately, I’m reminded of how much I’ve grown. I’m able to descern the powers at play and rise above them. Three years ago, their irrational words would have been seeds of doubt and confusion, but also of anger and frustration. Instead, they serve as confirmation that the same POWER that brought me to this point in my understanding is using this move as a new beginning that will get me to the next. And through the challenge of change I know I and my family will grow toward Yahuwah our Elahim.

So I accept the call and trust in Yahuwah more than myself, taking this leap of faith, expecting that I will fall into HIS hands and it will all be worth it.

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